Another Chance
by Nikita1506
Summary: EmJay fic, r&r please
1. The roof

She stood on the roof of the school, looking down at everyone. Tears blurred her eyes as she took another step forward.

"If you're thinking about jumping," said a voice from behind her, "Do everyone a favor and don't."

She didn't look back at him, just kept staring down at the ground.

"What do you care if I jump or not?"

"I care because I know that there would be a lot of people around here who would be devastated if you did."

She laughed, "Right. What people? I lost my best friend, I lost all my other friends, I lost the one person who cared about me even a little bit, I almost got shot and I pretty much lost my parents too. So who Jay, who would care?"

"You didn't lose all your friends. I know Toby, J.T., Liberty and Paige would be crushed. And I know you didn't lose your parents princess, 'cause I see the way your step-dad watches at you in Media Immersion. You don't want to do this," cautiously, Jay took a few steps towards her, making sure she couldn't see him move, "I know that you don't want to do this."

She shook her head, tears falling freely, "Yes I do. I want all of my pain, and all the pain I see in my friends' eyes, to stop. I want to be happy again."

"And you can't be happy alive?"

By this time, Toby had looked up at the roof, thinking he heard a voice. He saw her standing on the edge of the school roof, looking down. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jay moving towards her, talking to her, and looking like he was going to pull her away once he got close enough. Toby grabbed J. T.'s arm as he walked by and swung him around. J. T. looked at his friend, then up at the roof.

"Oh my god," he said.

Jay was only two steps away from her, two steps from saving her, and himself, 'cause without her, he didn't think he would want to live.

"I can't keep all of this inside anymore. I feel so broken."

"You're not broken, just a little cracked. Hell, all of us have been a little cracked ever since that Rick shit."

She finally looked back at him, "But no one got shot trying to save you," she said as she let her body start to fall.

He lunged for her, grabbing her wrist and hanging on tightly. He looked down at her as she dangled off the roof.

"Just let me go," she whispered, "It's not like anyone will miss me."

"See, that's where you're wrong," he said, gritting his teeth as he pulled her back up and held her to him as she cried freely, "'Cause I'd miss you Emma."


	2. Ain't that the truth

Kim—fast enough for ya?

Siren713—aww, thanks, I was really goin for a dramatic love story with all kinds of twists—tell me what you think—

Fluffymello—here ya go—next chapter up—

Knightsgurl—omg. Thanks. Lol.

JIZZICA—aww—I thinks that's the best review I got so far—thanks and enjoy!

And away we go!

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Jay picked Emma up in his arms and walked to the door that lead to the roof. He brought her back down to the first floor and saw everyone. When they saw that Emma was okay, they all moved out of the way so that Jay could bring her into the counselors' office. Mr. Simpson was there, waiting for Emma. He had heard what happened and was worried about her; he couldn't help wondering why she would want to do something like that. Jay tried to lay Emma down on the couch, but she clung to him, whimpering. He knelt down next to her as he laid her down, and whispered in her ear. She nodded and loosened the grip she had around his neck. Jay looked down at her and gently brushed her hair out of her face. He said something else to her, and then stood up when she nodded again. He walked into the inner office, where Mr. Simpson and Ms. Adams, the counselor, stood waiting. He closed the door gently, leaving it open an inch, just in case. 

"Jay, what's going on?" Mr. Simpson asked.

He wanted to say that he didn't know, but he did.

"I saw her walking up to the roof, crying, so I followed her. Saw her standing at the edge, looking down, and I started talking to her. Then she let herself start to fall, but I caught her."

"Why? Why would she do that?" Ms. Adams asked quietly.

"Because she thinks she's all alone."

"She has her mother and I," Mr. Simpson said angrily.

Jay sighed, "She doesn't think she does. She told me, since you've been in remission; all you've been doing is spending time with Jack. She thinks that she lost all her friends, and that her life is ruined. She said she wanted all her pain to go away and all her friends' pain to go away too. She feels alone, broken. So she wanted it to stop. She's not the only kid at Degrassi who's thought about suicide, she's just the only one who attempted it."

Snake looked at Jay, eyes wide. The youth just shook his head,

"Look, I'm just telling you what she told me. If we're done, I'm gonna go back out there with her, 'cause right now she trusts me and I don't want her to be alone."

Ms. Adams nodded and Jay walked out of the room. Snake watched as Jay picked Emma up off the couch, sat down, and made her more comfortable as he held her to him, whispering to her and rubbing her back. Then Snake looked back at Ms. Adams.

"I didn't know," he said quietly.

The door to the office opened and Toby stuck his head in, Jay looked up.

"Can I come in?"

Jay looked back down at Emma, and then nodded. Toby walked in and sat in a chair across from the couch, looking at Emma. She was resting against Jay's side, her eyes shut, but they both knew she wasn't sleeping.

"Is she going to be alright?"

Jay shrugged slightly, "I don't know."

Toby looked up at Jay, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving her. I didn't think she was going to go through with it, but when I saw her start to fall, I—" he paused, unsure how to go on, "Just, thank you."

Jay nodded and looked at Emma, she had finally fallen asleep, but he didn't want to move, incase she woke up. He talked with Toby for a little bit, telling him what really happened on the roof, and when she started to whimper in her sleep, he pulled her closer to him, and whispered to her that everything was going to be alright. She calmed down almost immediately. Toby stood then.

"I'm gonna go. J.T., Liberty, Danny, Craig, Paige and Manny are really worried about her."

Jay's head shot up when he heard Manny's name.

"Manny? That's a surprise, seeing how she blew Emma off for the longest time."

"Yea, well. Watching your friend trying to commit suicide kinda puts your life into a whole new perspective."

Jay looked back down at Emma's blonde head, "Ain't that the truth," he muttered.


	3. Home

Britbrat—thanks

JIZZICA—thank you—here you go—

Afamily123—here you go—more—hope you like it—

* * *

When Emma woke up again, she was in her room. She sat up and looked around, confused. How did she get back here? The last thing she remembered was falling asleep listening to Jay's voice.

Jay.

Why had he saved her? Why hadn't he just let her fall?

"'_Cause I'd miss you Emma."_

Oh. Right. He'd miss her. Wait, did that mean? No, it couldn't. He couldn't. Could he? Could bad boy Jay Hogart have feelings for good girl Emma Nelson? Emma shook her head, sighing. Then she got up off her bed and walked upstairs. She heard voices in the kitchen. Her mom, and dad, and—Jay? She opened the door and walked through the living room. Standing at the kitchen door, she looked in and saw her mom sitting down with her dad and Jay, and Jay telling her what happened. Suddenly, Spike looked up and saw Emma standing at the doorway, tears running down her face. She got up from the table and rushed to Emma, hugging her tightly.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm sorry," she kept saying over and over as she hugged Emma tightly to her and cried with her.

Snake went over and hugged the two of them, whispering to Emma that he loved her and that he was sorry as well. Jay sat at the table, watching the three of them, and thinking about his own family life. Suddenly, Emma broke away from her parents and came over to him. He stood and looked at her. Her arms flew up around his neck and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, relishing the feeling of Emma safe in his arms.

"Thank you," he heard her whisper quietly.

Jay kissed her temple and held her tighter, "You're welcome. Please don't ever do that again."

She smiled slightly and looked at him, a little of that famous Emma Nelson sparkle coming back.

"As long as you keep telling me you'll miss me," her smile widened at Jay's look, she hugged him tighter, burying her face in his shoulder, "'Cause I may need to hear it now and again."

She felt, more than heard his laugh, "As many times as you need to hear it."

An hour later found Emma and Jay sitting on the couch with her parents, talking. Jay had his arm around her and Emma was leaning into him as she told her parents how long she had been feeling so bad, and why. Then Jay's cell rang and he excused himself to answer it.

"Yea?"

"Jay?"

Alex, oh man.

"Hey Alex."

"Where are you?"

"Doin' some stuff."

"Right. Listen, I heard that you pulled Emma from the roof when she tried to jump today," Alex's voice suddenly softened, "Is she okay?"

What?

Jay sighed, "I don't know Lexy. She's pretty messed up about everything."

"Yea. I figured. I know that you're with her."

"Alex," Jay started.

"No Jay. I know that you are. And I think it's a good thing."

"Huh?"

"I know, me saying that. But I really think it is. She needs someone with her and since you pulled her from the roof, she obviously trusts you, so it might as well be you. Look Jay, I was gonna tell you this some other time but,"

"Alex, I think we need to break up."

"I was just going to say that."

"What?"

"Look Jay," Alex said sighing, "I see how you've been watching Emma, and, yea, it made me mad at first, but then I kinda realized that you used to look at me that way. And it faded a long time ago. That we were just with each other cause it felt comfortable. I want you to be happy. And I think that with Emma, you can be."

"Alex, I don't understand you at all," Jay said.

Alex chuckled, "Yea, I know. Look, over the last months of being student council vice president, I learned a lot about Emma from Marco. And, I know some of the stuff that she's been through. That's why I stopped making fun of her, cause I've been through some of it too. And no Jay, before you ask, I can't tell you. If Emma wants to, fine, but I can't. You understand that."

"Yea."

"So, I got to know why she did what she did. And I got to understanding her. And understanding you, so do me a favor Jay."

"What's that Lexy?"

"Don't screw up a good thing."

"I'll try."

"Good. Well, I gotta go, Marco says he wants to take me shopping," she laughed, "Said it was time to 'improve' my look. Later Jay."

"Later."

Jay smiled slightly as he turned his phone off and turned around to walk back into the living room, only to see Emma watching him from the doorway.

"What?"

"Alex?"

"Yea."

"You gonna leave?"

Jay looked at her, really looked at her, and saw how scared and vulnerable she really was.

"C'mere."

Emma walked over to Jay and was instantly enfolded in his arms. She sighed and snuggled into him.

"I'm not leaving you. Especially not now."

"Then why—"

"Alex wanted to know where I was. We talked, she understood, and we broke up."

"Why?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yea."

"Why me?"

"Cause Alex realized that the way I looked at you lately, was the same way I used to look at her when I liked her. And that that look had faded from my eyes unless I was looking at you."

Emma looked up at Jay, surprised. He chuckled and tilted his head down.

"Get used to hearing it Emma. 'Cause I'll be saying it for a long time," Jay stated before he pressed his lips softly against hers.


	4. Flashbacks

Afamily123—there, more—happy?

BlackRoseOnFire—(bows) thanks—yea, he can be a total sweetie, and Emma brings it out in him perfectly—yea, I was kinda hoping that Emma's suicide attempt would shock people—thanks for the review—

Britbrat—it's sweet now, yes—but you know it's all gonna go to hell soon right?

JIZZICA—yea, I love seeing Jay's softer side too—it just rounds him out so well (laughs)

BiWiccanPrincess—(bows) thanks—I've been working really hard on this one—it came to me one night—and now it won't go away (smiles)

* * *

Three weeks later, Emma walked back into Degrassi Community School. Her life felt like it was getting back on track. She had made up with Manny, and they were back to being best friends. She had talked everything over with her parents and her other friends, so she felt good about all that. She had even become friends with Alex, which was interesting and weird at the same time. But they were friends, and Emma felt like that was something. And, now she was with Jay. It seemed like everyone had started to accept him after he pulled her off the roof, and he was even becoming friends (somewhat) with Marco. The only thing that didn't feel right; was that she hadn't spoken to Sean yet. Emma bit her lip as she stood in front of her locker. Sean. He was still in Wasaga Beach, and he didn't answer his phone during the day. Emma smiled as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

"Hey," she said leaning back.

"Hey yourself, I tried calling you this weekend," Jay said as he kissed her neck softly.

"I was busy with Mom and Jack."

"Oh. How is the little monster?"

"Jay!" Emma said laughing as she whirled around, "Just because he won't give you your precious hat back, that doesn't make him a monster."

"It does when he took my favorite hat."

Emma laughed and hugged Jay tightly.

"I missed you this weekend Em."

"Missed you too."

"Hey Emma," said the bright, perky, voice of Manuela Santos.

Emma turned to her best friend, "Hey Manny."

"So, are we still on for the mall today with Paige and Ellie?"

Emma bit her lip and looked up at Jay, "Uhm…"

Jay smirked and leaned down to whisper in Emma's ear. She smiled and laughed as he pulled away.

"Sure Manny."

"Okay, hey we better get to class, don't want Kwan giving us detention today do we?"

"Good point."

"I gotta go too Em. I can't be late for your dad's class."

"Yea, just don't fall asleep this time."

"I won't."

"Right," Emma smirked.

Jay just kissed her quickly and left the girls to walk to Ms. Kwan's class. Emma and Manny walked arm in arm through the halls, chatting. Suddenly, Emma stopped abruptly, her memory racing. This was the hallway. The same hallway where Rick tried to shoot her. Where Sean had saved her life.

"Emma? Emma?"

She could hear Manny's voice, but she was too far gone in her memory of that day.

"_**You don't want to do this Rick."**_

"_**Congratulations Emma. You made my list."**_

Manny stared at her best friend and suddenly yelled into Ms. Kwan's classroom.

"Someone go get Mr. Simpson and Jay! Quick! Emma? Emma? Are you okay?" she kept asking.

The door to Mr. Simpson's class burst open and Toby fell through.

"Toby? What's going on?"

"Hallway," he said out of breath, "Emma. You and Jay. Now."

Jay bolted up from his seat and fled the room, Snake and Toby right behind him. He knew what hallway Toby meant. When he finally reached Emma she was shaking and staring straight ahead. He slowed down and went to her, wrapping his arms around her shaking frame. Manny stood next to her, holding her hand as her tears fell.

"She just froze, I didn't know what happened until I saw the look in her eyes."

"_**Congratulations Emma. You made my list."**_

Jay bent his head so he could whisper in Emma's ear.

"Emma? C'mon baby. It's okay. He's gone. C'mon now Em. It's me. It's Jay. C'mon baby. You're okay. He can't hurt you."

Snake stood on Emma's other side and put his arm around Manny to steady her as he put his other hand on Emma's shoulder, letting her know he was there.

"Emma, come on sweetie, it's dad. Emma? You're okay. It's over."

Jay kept on whispering to her for five minutes, when she suddenly collapsed, crying. They sank to the floor and he held her in his arms, rocking her as he tried to calm her down.

"Oh God. Oh my God," she said as she cried.

"Emma? I'm right here baby. I'm right here. It's okay."

Emma shook her head and held on to Jay tightly. He lifted her up and walked to the nurse's office. She immediately let them in and Jay walked over to one of the beds, so he could lay Emma down. He whispered in her ear as he let her go. She nodded and curled on her side facing him, making sure he wasn't going to go away. Making sure he would keep her safe. Jay lifted his hand to her face and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'll be right back. I have to talk to your dad."

She nodded and shut her eyes, tears still falling. Jay kissed her forehead and stood. He looked down at her before turning to talk to Snake. Mr. Simpson was watching his daughter worriedly.

"It's never hit her this hard."

Jay shrugged, "She's never had to go back into that hallway."

"I know but—she just froze. Like she was reliving that day."

"Tell me about it," Jay rubbed his hands over his face and sighed, "I'm gonna stay with her. You might want to go back to your class."

"I can't leave her—" Snake started.

"Mr. Simpson, you know how she gets when everyone hovers. At least she'll talk to me about what happened. Besides, you're really going to let your classes go without a teacher?" Jay grinned.

"I just feel so helpless when she's like this Jayson."

"So do I. All we can do is let her get over it and be there."

"You're right," Snake smiled at the young man who stood before him, he had changed drastically since that fateful day, they all had.

"Keep her safe Jayson."

"I always do."

Snake nodded and left the room quietly, but not before going over to Emma, kissing her forehead and whispering "I love you."

Fifteen minutes later, Emma woke up and looked at Jay, who sat before her, watching her worriedly. She sat up and patted the spot on the bed next to her. He slid from his seat and sat next to her, arm around her shoulders.

"I did it again didn't I?"

"It hit you bad this time Blondie."

Her tears started again, "It felt like I was back there."

"I know."

"I thought it was going to happen again."

Jay held her tighter and kissed her temple, he didn't want her to have to go through that anymore.

"Jay?"

"Yea baby?"

"There's something I need to do, can you take me?"

"Yea. Where do you need to go?"

"Wasaga Beach."


	5. Wasaga Beach

Kuddls—Just wait darling—the twists are coming! The twists are coming! Haha

JIZZICA—thank you very much love—btw—ive been looking for some good EmJay fics—but it seems like theres nothing out there—have any?

Slyswn28—thank you! Yea, alex's attitude was the biggest thing I wanted to change, to show that she has a heart too, ya know? Oh—if you like that comment—wait until I actually write it up! (smiles mischievously)

BiWiccanPrincess—(laughs) yes yes, we all damn the execs of Degrassi—(crosses self and mutters an apology to the great exec gods) I know! I totally felt the same way, that's why I pulled Sean into it—not to mention that he's coming back (oops—story spoiler!) anyway—I think that you've given me (so far) the best reviews ('cept for JIZZICA up there, y'all are tied right now) and I thank you for your support (curtsies)

Jasmineprnc—hahaha—ahh, titanic—I remember that one "I'll never let go Jack" (laughs) oh goodness—yes, I suppose it did have a titanic thingy going on for it—I just hope that no one will get mad—thanks!

Afamily123—omg, if you don't start writing something else—I'm gonna start thinking that you're a bot, sent from the Degrassi people to make me write their new episodes for them without my knowledge—(pauses and mentally shakes self)—anyway—good to know that you want more—but do you like it?

BlackRoseOnFire—well, originally I had no idea that she was going to fully break down like that—but then it hit me and yea—it happened that way—anyways, here ya go love—just for you (laughs) just wait until I finish the darn thing—some major twists are gonna be pulled in—now, if I could only find a beta to help me—hmmm—well, enjoy! (smiles)

* * *

Jay drove to Wasaga Beach in silence, Emma next to him. He looked over at her, then took one hand from the steering wheel to hold hers. Feeling his hand on hers, Emma looked at him and smiled. They finally reached Sean's place and sat there for a minute. Finally Emma sighed.

"You sure you wanna do this right now?"

"I have to Jay."

He didn't say anything, just got out of the car and waited for her. Hand in hand, they walked up to Sean's front door and Emma knocked. After a few minutes, the door was opened and Sean looked out. When he saw it was Jay and Emma, he smiled.

"Emma, hey," he said opening the screen door.

She took a quick step away from Jay and hugged Sean.

"Hi Sean."

"Jay," Sean said as he let go of Emma, "What's up?"

"Hey Cameron," Jay nodded at Emma, "Wanted to talk to you."

Sean nodded and ushered the two into the house. Emma went in and sat down on the couch, while Sean sat across from her and Jay stood at her back. She looked up at him and smiled before turning to face Sean.

"Wait a sec Emma, before you start, I gotta know, are you guys really dating?"

"Yea. Wait, how'd you know?"

"Oh. I talked to Ellie the other day. Why?"

"Why am I dating him?" Emma shrugged, "A couple reasons. I like him, he likes me, we're good for each other, and," Emma sighed, "He stopped me from jumping."

"WHAT?"

Emma shrank back into the couch at Sean's yell. Jay put a hand on her shoulder and gave Sean a look that read 'back off, she's been through enough.' Sean calmed down and looked at Emma again.

"What do you mean, 'he stopped you from jumping'?"

Emma began to fidget as she talked, "About a month ago, I was really messed up. I felt like I was alone and that I would always be alone. And, that I was the cause of everyone's pain," she paused and glanced at Jay, who moved to sit beside her, "So, I walked up to the school roof, and I had every intention of jumping off and ending my life," Sean sucked in a breath at that, "But Jay had followed me and stopped me. When I had let myself fall, he caught me and pulled me back. He helped me a lot. And he's been there for me throughout all of this. Since the shooting, no, since maybe before that, he was the first person that I felt I could fully trust."

Sean looked at Emma, disbelieving what she had just told him. He was about to speak when Emma held up her hand.

"I'm not done yet Sean. I haven't spoken to you since the shooting, not that I haven't tried, and today, I had an episode. Before you ask, I had a flashback of that day, like I was reliving it. Only this time, it was Jay who saved me. And I realized that if I wanted at least a little more normalcy in my life, that I had to talk to you about it. I know I've said thank you before, but you didn't really listen to me. And I think part of me knew that. So I'm saying it now and I hope that you'll really listen this time. Thank you Sean, you saved my life once. Now I'm asking you to help save me again. Because if I go back tonight, and we haven't worked anything out, it'll happen again. Maybe even get worse, even with the help I'm getting from everyone. I mean, I made up with Manny, J.T. and Toby, and I'm still friends with Paige. Hell, Alex and I are even becoming friends. So please Sean. Help me."

Sean looked at Emma, who was sitting with Jay's arm around her shoulders, tears threatening to fall, and nodded.

Two hours later, Emma hugged Sean good-bye and got back into Jay's car. They started the drive back to Degrassi as Emma called her parents, telling them that she would be home soon. Putting her phone back in her bag, she looked at Jay.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Jay looked over at her and took her hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it, then set their joined hands down on the seat between them and casually stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Think you're gonna be okay now babe?"

"I think so. But I don't know."

Jay suddenly pulled the car over and turned it off. Emma looked at him, worry written on her face.

"Jay?"

He looked over at her and smiled, "Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to stop for a minute."

"Okay," Emma said.

She unbuckled her seatbelt and slid across the seat so that she was right up next to him. He put his arm around her and held her tight. Emma rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. This felt _so_ right. She pulled away slightly and looked into Jay's eyes.

"We better get back Jay. Mom wants us back for dinner."

Jay smirked and kissed Emma lightly, "Dinner at your place again huh? Man, I'm gonna go soft with all your mom's good food."

Emma laughed, "Then I'll have to make sure you get enough exercise won't I?"

Jay looked at Emma with pure disbelief written on his features. She kissed him softly and pulled her seatbelt back on, only, this time, she was in the middle seat, right next to Jay. She snuggled into his side and looked up at him as he started the car.

"Let's go home Jay."


	6. Home again

Afamily123—thank you so much for writing something other than "ADD MORE"! (laughs) anyway—here you go

Fluffymello—well thank you very much (blushes) never thought of anything I did as brilliant before—

Britbrat—no, Emma and Sean are not getting back together (sorry) im a total EmJay lady—but, Sean will play a crucial role—

JIZZICA—J! wonderful to hear from you again (laughs) thanks for telling me about that fic—I read it—but parts of it (like when Jay's being an asshole) made me want to smack him—even though it was a very good fic—anyway—I found one you might like it's called "Time After Time"—there's also "A New Year" and "Home Again" (a new year's sequel)—I don't think I could ever be a Craig/Em person cause he's too much of a playboy—and JT—he's perfect w/ Liberty—thanks for the comp and here ya go!

BxTatty—yea, usually Jay's portrayed as a "badass" but—him being sweet—its what this fic is all about—however—the "badass" part of him will show—soon—

BlackRoseOnFire—darling, if you think a month is a long time—look at some of my other fics—I'm in the process of updating them all—and adding the ones that I've written since then—but there are some in there that I haven't worked on in a year—right now—this one's got me by the throat—and that's why I'm updating so quickly—I have another EmJay fic that I'm working on as well—it's called "Secrets" not good yet—but getting there—enjoy—

TemporaryxInsanity—here you go—

BiWiccanPrincess—haha—yes, finally some innuendo for "lil miss save the world" lol—darling, I would love for you to be my beta—give me ur email and we'll start right away! Yay—you can tell me if my chaps suck or not—haha—loves—

Well folks—away we go!

* * *

When Jay finally reached Emma's house, she had fallen asleep against his shoulder. He pulled into the driveway and scooped her up from the passenger side. Spike had seen him walking up the driveway with Emma sleeping in his arms, so she opened the front door for Jay and let him take Emma down to her room. She watched Jay as he walked past her; something about him, from the first time she met him, made her trust him with Emma, and trust him a lot more than she trusted Sean. Spike shook her head and shut the front door. Then she went to Jack's room, to make sure the little boy hadn't woken up from his nap. Downstairs in Emma's room, Jay gently laid her down on her bed and sat down next to her sleeping form. As he watched her sleep peacefully for the first time in what he guessed had been a long while, he thought back to that day on the roof.

_**He'd been bored, and Alex was off at some student council thing. He was trying to figure out who he could go torment. Then he saw Emma and grinned. Perfect. He watched her walk down the hallway, head down. Then saw her scurry towards the door that lead to the roof, and quickly look around. He was surprised at the tears streaming down her cheeks. Then he started to worry as he watched her open the door and quickly start to climb. Jay glanced around, then followed Emma. He watched her as she stood at the edge of the roof and looked down. That's when he started talking to her. Making sure she wasn't looking at him as he inched closer to her, trying to get close enough to grab her. When she finally looked at him, the pain and emptiness in her eyes made him freeze, but when she started to let herself fall, that's when he lunged for her. Feeling her wrist in his hand, he sighed in relief. But her next words shook him to the core.**_

"_**Just let me go. It's not like anyone will miss me."**_

**_He had to make her see. Had to let her know. _He_ would miss her._**

Jay shifted slightly and gently pushed Emma's hair out of her eyes.

"Worst day of my life," he mumbled.

"Hmm?" a sleepy Emma responded.

Jay shook his head as Emma opened her eyes.

"Nothing."

Emma smiled and brought her hand up to rest on Jay's shoulder, which she then used to pull herself up into his arms. Jay held her and smiled into her hair. Emma pulled back slightly, surprising Jay, and smiled at him. She leaned in and kissed him softly. Quickly, the kiss deepened and Jay began to lay Emma back on her bed. He didn't want to rush her into anything, but he loved her. The two were so engrossed in their make-out session that they didn't hear Emma's bedroom door open.

"Emma! Phone!" Spike called down the stairs.

Emma pulled away from Jay and groaned slightly.

"Okay Mom! I got it down here!"

They heard the door shut and Emma picked up the extension.

"Hello?" she says.

Jay is still partly on top of her and she begins to stroke his back with her free hand. His head moves to her neck and he starts to place soft kisses on her neck.

"Emma? It's Manny, where are you?"

Emma groaned, Manny, she totally forgot.

"Sorry Manny. Jay and I just got back from Wasaga Beach."

"Why'd you go out to Wasaga?"

"I had to talk to Sean," she said as she gently pushed Jay away and sat up.

"Oh. Are you okay?" Manny asked.

"Yea, I'm okay now," Emma replied as she turned her back towards Jay so she could lean back against him and have him hold her.

"Okay, well, do you think you can still make it to the mall tonight? Paige and Marco are here with me."

"Um, I can try. Honestly Manny, I'm really tired and if I do come out, I can't stay out long cause I'll probably fall asleep on you guys."

"So just bring Jay along."

Emma looked up at Jay and smiled, she put her hand over the mouthpiece.

"Want to go to the mall?"

"What I would like to do is stay here with you. But you have plans with Manny, so yes, I'll take you to the mall."

She squealed and kissed Jay, "You're the best."

"I better be," he muttered as she went back to her conversation with Manny.

"Manny? I'll be there in fifteen minutes okay?"

"Yea! Bye!"

"Bye Manny."

Emma hung up the phone and leaned back into Jay again. He held her close, but didn't say a word. Finally Emma sighed and shifted.

"C'mon, Manny, Marco and Paige are waiting."

"Alright Blondie. Let's go."

They quickly got up and went upstairs. Emma yelled to Spike that she was meeting Manny at the mall, who replied with;

"Have fun honey. Just call if you're going to be late!"

They walked out to Jay's car and quickly left the house. The ride out was quiet, but neither minded, Jay just grabbed Emma's hand and held it. At the mall, they parked and walked inside, hand in hand. Emma looked around, but when she couldn't find Manny or Paige, she pulled out her cell and called Manny's. After finding out where they were, she tugged on Jay's hand, he slid his hand from her grip and put his arm around her waist as they walked towards the shop where Manny said that they were all waiting.


	7. Shopping and a Conversation

BlackRoseOnFire—darling—you and me both—haha—anyway—thanks for the review—and I can't wait to hear from you on this chapter—loves—

TemporaryxInsanity—well, I guess you could call it that—I wanted to go over Jay's POV of the day Emma tried to jump—this was the first thing that popped for me—their romance is going to get a lil more complicated--

JIZZICA—yea, I liked that one too—I'm really hoping that someone will come up with a kick butt Jemma for me to dive into—'cause I'm runnin' on empty—not that rereading the Jemma's I know about are a bad thing—of course—but I need something new to bite into—yea—it used to be a way to insult her—but I turned it into a term of endearment—

Afamily123—here ya go love—another one—just for you—heehee

BiWiccanPrincess—send me a message containing your email—'cause I didn't get it—sorry love—but I promise—as soon as I get it—you're my first—loves

Funnechick—haha—yes, it does—I swear—I must have a "jay muse" cause he's pushin me to be mean—lol—hope you like this chap too!

Nikki—yes, I am portraying Jay as a total softie—until now—just you wait darlin…

* * *

Emma smiled as she spotted Marco through the crowd. With that wild hair of his, these days, there was _no_ way anyone could miss him. She laughed when she saw Paige and Manny trying to wave and _not_ drop their bags at the same time. Jay and Emma walked over to them and Emma smiled.

"Shop enough?" she said to Paige and Manny.

"Please hun, you know there's no such thing as shopping enough," Paige grinned.

"Besides," Manny inserted, "Half of these aren't ours. They're Alex's."

"What?" Emma laughed, "Marco, you got Alex to let you give her a make over? With the help of Paige and Manny?"

Before Marco could answer, Alex walked out of the store.

"Yup. And I gotta say, I'm likin' what they've thrown my way so far."

Emma looked at Alex and grinned, "Wow, you look different."

She looked up at Jay, who just stood there with his mouth open, and laughed. She closed his mouth and tilted his head down to face her.

"Watch it mister," she said playfully.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around Emma's lithe frame. Marco looked at the two, and got an idea.

"Emma," he said, "Come with me for a second."

Emma nodded slightly and pulled away from Jay, Marco took her hand and led her into the store next door. Jay just watched her walk away. Paige, Manny and Alex laughing brought him back. Smirking, he faked a bow and said, "Ladies."

In the store, perfectly named _Conversion_ Marco pulled Emma over to a rack of dresses that she herself, would never go near. But for some reason, she trusted in Marco, and his fashion sense. So she just followed him along as he pulled three dresses from the rack and shoved them in her arms before sending her to try them on in one of the dressing rooms. Emma looked at the dresses in her arms and laughed, one was pink, one was an emerald green, and the other was at least fifty shades of blue. She tried on the pink dress first. When she stepped out of the dressing room, Marco took one look at it, shook his head and sent her back into the dressing room. She tried on the emerald green dress next and smiled at her reflection in the mirror—a month ago, she wouldn't have dared wear that dress—but Marco took one look at this one and sent her back again. Neither dress seemed to fit her well enough. By the time Emma was wiggling into the blue dress, Jay, Alex, Manny and Paige had wandered into _Conversion_.

"Okay, what'd ya do with my girlfriend?" Jay said loudly.

Emma's smile grew as she unlocked the door to the dressing room and she stepped out. Jay looked at her, and his jaw dropped to the floor.

"Ohmigosh Emma! That dress is fabulous!" Manny shrieked.

Emma smiled at Manny, and then faced Jay. Twirling slowly, she bit her lip, suddenly nervous.

"Well? What do you think Jay?"

Jay said nothing, just stared at Emma, a faraway look in his eyes. Alex glanced at Jay, then elbowed him roughly, knocking him back.

"Huh? Oh. Wow Em. Really, wow."

Emma smiled at her boyfriend, "You like it?"

"Like it? You look gorgeous."

"Really?"

"Really Em."

Emma turned once again and looked in the mirror at her reflection. The dress was at least 50 vivid shades of blue, off the shoulder and ended at mid-thigh. With the right shoes, she could look like a killer. Then she watched Jay in the mirror and decided to screw with him.

"I dunno. I think it makes me look fat."

"What! Where would you get that idea?" Jay said.

Emma turned sideways in the mirror and studied her reflection again.

"I dunno, it's just—"

"Perfect."

Emma whirled to look at Jay, smiling mischievously.

"Good answer."

Paige and Manny burst out laughing and Emma joined them for a minute before ducking back into the dressing room to change into her street clothes. Jay looked from the dressing room door, to Manny and Paige, then back again.

"What?"

"Hun," Paige said giggling, "You are so whipped."

Alex tried to smother a laugh at that, but it didn't really work. Jay glared at her, then looked at the dressing room door again, a strange look passing over his face.

"Yea," he said quietly, "I am."

After Emma bought the blue dress, the group walked through the mall, everyone laughing and talking, and generally having a good time—everyone except Jay. He was silent, just walking along, his arm around Emma. Finally Alex noticed his behavior and waited until Marco and the other girls went into another store to ask Jay about how he was acting.

"What's up with you Jay?"

"Nothing."

"That's total bullshit and you and I both know it Jayson Hogart. Talk to me."

Sighing, Jay sat on a bench in front of the store.

"I don't know. Paige's comment set something off."

"Paige's comment?"

"Yea. Look at me Lexi, I'm a total softie these days."

"And you don't like that do you?"

"I don't know!"

Alex looked down, "Jay, think for a second okay? Ever since you pulled Emma from the rooftop everything has changed right?"

"Yea, so?"

"So have you. You're not getting soft Jay, you're developing feelings. Do you love Emma?"

"I—I don't know."

"Well, find out."

Tiredly, Jay rubbed his hands over his face.

"Lex, I don't know what to do. She's different. Everything is different. Damnit, I'm gonna lose my fuckin' mind! I can't do this Alex."

Hearing him say that, Alex sighed and stood. She walked into the store to find the others, leaving Jay alone to contemplate what she had said to him. Sighing he stood and looked around. Something in him seemed to snap then.

"No," he said loudly, then walked off, the old Jay emerging from inside.

What neither he or Alex knew was that Emma, was standing right inside of the store, and had heard everything.


	8. No

Sorry bout the lack of updates! Hope y'all didn't give up on me!

Meandcanada—okay—so, I'm posting more—enjoy

Siren713—well, I'm not gonna say that he _won't_ pull a "Sean" and screw it all up—but I'm not gonna say he will either—stay tuned!

BlackRoseOnFire—um—yea—not gonna say he is and not gonna say he isn't—sorry I made you wait to find out—but I think you're either gonna be mad at me after this chap, or you're gonna love me (grins) lets find out—

Afamily123—sorry I made you wait—the Degrassi gods were punishing me for cursing the execs—but here ya go—

WillowSpikey—amen to that willow—Jay does need to get his head straight—but, I mean, c'mon love—its high school drama—(pauses) ain't it great! Lol—enjoy

Theboys—well, Emma's reaction is a mystery, even to me—but it'll come—just you wait—(grins wickedly)

Neviegirl—here's the next chap—love it or hate it—that's totally up to you—read it anyway—

WishinWell43—now now, you know that I can't divulge that info until the next chap—and, oh! Here it is now! (giggles)

Angelic-dreamer07—well, wait no more—here ya go!

JIZZICA—yay! You're back! How wonderful! Enjoy the next chap—but I warn you—it's a doozy—(shrinks back) don't hurt me—

Mamabearno1—I'm not gonna say—but yea—this does kinda crush her—but just wait—

Illie—(giggles) yay—another newbie—welcome to my Jemma—and yes—I like where I'm at as well—hope this next chap hooks you even more—

CBM1219—relax—everyone has doubts about a relationship—but yea—I'm mad at my muses for making me write that—but it just fit with the drama coming up—

YaDoDOBird—glad you found us and welcome—I hope you like the next chap—now that my muses stopped punishing me—they're putting me back to work—new stories and updates coming along quite nicely—and since I have a four day weekend coming up then—well—there will be A LOT of stuff coming in—watch for it!

Funnechick—I've been saying it all along love—the twists are coming! The twists are coming! (giggles) enjoy—

Malfoy90—course it does love—it IS trouble—enjoy and keep reviewing (im such a review whore, lol)

Greenpeace—here ya go darlin—more—

IsetMyFriendsOnFire06—um, first of all, what a pen—holy goodness—and secondly—here ya go—

OMG! You guys are gonna make me cry! I cant believe how well this is being received—hope y'all like it—don't give up on me—cause it's all comin back to me now—ENJOY!

* * *

Emma stood at the store entrance and watched Jay walk away from her. Her eyes began to fill with tears as she thought back to the conversation he had with Alex. How could he do this to her? What? Was it all just a sick joke? Sniffling, she turned when someone tapped her shoulder. It was Paige.

"Hun? Are you okay?"

Emma shook her head, "No Paige, I'm not. Can you give me a ride home? I don't feel very well."

"I'll go get Jay for you."

"NO!" Emma almost shouted as Paige turned away.

Paige turned back to her friend, curiosity and worry in her eyes.

"Please Paige," Emma whispered, "I just want you to take me home."

Paige nodded, she quickly put two and two together and figured out that something had happened between Jay and Emma.

"Okay hun," she said as she thought, _"If he hurts her and she does something to herself, I'm going to kill him with my bare hands."_

Quickly, she told Marco that she was taking Emma home and for him not to tell Jay. When Marco looked at her questioningly she only shrugged, letting him know that she didn't know what had transpired either. As she and Emma walked from the store, Alex walked up to Marco, who was watching them leave.

"What's up Marco? Where are Paige and Emma going?"

Marco shook his head, "Paige is taking Emma home. She says she doesn't feel well, but Paige told me not to let Jay know that Emma was leaving, so I think something happened."

Alex paled slightly, Emma must've heard her talking with Jay.

"Oh no," she whispered.

Marco looked at her, "Lex? What is it? What's wrong?"

"I know what set Emma off Marco. Jay and I were talking and he got mad because he's confused about how he feels about Emma. He just walked off. She must think—oh God, I have to find him and tell him."

She moved to leave but Marco grabbed her arm, "Alex! You can't. I swore to Paige that I wouldn't let Jay know."

"Marco," Alex argued, "She might try to hurt herself again! And Jay's gonna think it's all his fault! I can't let him do that. He's so in love with her that he can't tell his left from his right, if she does something to herself because she heard us talking, he's going to go out of his mind! I have to tell him Marco."

"Tell who what?" Jay asked as he walked back into the store.

Both Alex and Marco's heads swiveled around to look at him, Marco glaring and Alex worried.

"Tell who what?" he said again.

Alex looked at Marco, begging silently. After a minute, Marco let go of her arm and nodded, then he looked at Jay.

"If you don't fix this, I swear to God that you'll regret it," he said before walking over to where Manny was.

"Fix what? Alex?" Jay said, exasperated.

Alex looked down, "Emma heard us talking earlier. She just asked Paige to take her home and told Marco not to let you know. Jay, I think she's gonna do something."

Jay paled, then turned and raced from the store, out of the mall and jumped into his car.

_I have to get to her and explain it._

Jay raced to Emma's house, only to be told that she had come home, yes, but had gone back out again. When he asked, Spike told him that she had walked towards the school. He quickly thanked her and raced to the school. Parking his car, he tried to think where she would be. Suddenly, a flash of movement on the roof caught his eye. Then he saw her blonde hair. He watched her, she was just standing there, unmoving. Jay ran inside and up the stairs to the roof.

"Emma!" he gasped out when he finally reached the top.

She was still standing there, arms folded over her chest, staring out at the town.

"Emma," he said again.

"Go away Jay."

"Emma, please."

"I said, go away."

"You have to listen."

"To what Jay!" she screamed as she turned to face him, "To you lying to me? To excuses? To more pain? No Jay! Just go away!"

He moved towards her swiftly and had her in his arms before she knew it.

"Emma, please," he said quietly, he felt her tears soaking through his shirt and held her tighter, "What you heard at the mall earlier, it was stupid. I got confused and I got mad. Please Em, let me explain."

"Why Jay? Why did you do this to me? Why did you make me love you so much?" Emma sobbed into his chest.

Jay sank to the floor, still holding Emma tightly.

"Emma. I was confused and I got scared okay? Paige's comment about me being whipped pissed me off and made me start to think," Jay began rocking her back and forth, soothing her as he spoke, "I'm not used to all these feelings Em. I got scared about how I feel for you, I still haven't figured it all out. But I do know this," Jay paused and tilted Emma's face up so she would look at him, "I care about you Blondie, a lot. And it scares the hell outta me. I'm not used to this. Being around people and having them not think the worst about me. You gotta believe me Emma, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Emma shook her head and disentangled herself from Jay's arms. Standing she looked down at him, "No," she said.

Then she turned from him and ran towards the edge of the roof. Spreading her arms, she let herself fall.


	9. Just A Dream

I know—two chappies in one day! (gasps) isn't it wonderful!

* * *

Gasping, Jay sat up. Quickly, he looked around the room. Not his room, Emma's. He looked around and saw his girlfriend sleeping peacefully next to him. Quietly, he sighed in relief. None of it had happened, not the mall, not the conversation with Alex, not the roof.

"Jay?"

Emma's sleepy voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked down at her.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, yea," he said hesitantly, he didn't know whether to tell her or not, "I just forgot where I was for a second."

"You sure?" Emma asked as she sat up next to him.

"Yea," Jay answered quietly, "yea."

"Okay," came the reply.

Emma's arms came around him and hugged her back, still thinking about that dream.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"For what Blondie?"

"For taking me out to Wasaga today. I really needed to talk to Sean."

That caused Jay to pause.

"Jay?" Emma asked after a minute.

"Huh? What?" came his dazed reply.

"Are you sure you're okay? You're acting weird."

"Honestly Emma," Jay started, but was interrupted.

"Emma!" Spike called down the stairs.

"Yes mom?" Emma called back.

"Phone! It's Manny!"

"Oh crap. I forgot I was supposed to go to the mall with her, Marco and Paige today. Thanks mom! I'll get it down here!"

Jay had frozen where he was. He was _not_ going to the mall, no matter what. He heard Emma talking to Manny, then heard her laugh.

"Jay? Would you mind taking me to the mall?"

Jay looked at Emma, then, realizing that he didn't want that dream to become a reality, got an idea. He pulled her back to him and held her tightly, making her laugh.

"Actually, since I didn't get to see you all weekend long, I thought I could have you all to myself today."

Emma smiled up at Jay and he knew then, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he really loved her.

"What do ya say Blondie?"

Emma leaned up and kissed him softly, "Okay," she said.

"Manny? Sorry, I totally forgot, and I'm exhausted, so Jay and I are gonna stay here, okay?" She paused and laughed at Manny's response, "I'll talk to you later missy," Emma said in reply, then hung up.

She looked back up at Jay and smiled softly, "My friends have dirty minds," she giggled.

This caused Jay to laugh as well, he hugged Emma tighter to him and laid back, happy that he got Emma to stay at home. Another thought crossed his mind, and he sighed.

"Em," he started, "I have to tell you something."

Emma rolled over in his embrace and looked at him, "Okay."

Jay took a deep breath and watched her face. Then he told her about his dream. When he had finished, Emma gazed at him curiously.

"Are you?"

"Am I what?" Jay asked.

"Confused about how you feel about me."

'_Oh,'_ Jay thought, he looked into Emma's eyes and everything clicked. Kissing her softly he said, "No."

Emma smiled at Jay, then snuggled deeper into his embrace.

"Good," she said softly before kissing his neck.

Jay held her and listened as her breathing evened out. When he looked down at her again and saw her asleep, he kissed her forehead.

"I love you Emma," he whispered before letting sleep claim him again.


	10. A Happy Family

Hey y'all—here's the next chap—

BlackSmith—wow, okay—um—thank you for your opinion and if you don't like it then you don't have to read it—I do want to thank you for reviewing however—ya know—I think yours was the first review that was negative—it kinda brought me down—but I see how everyone else likes it and I've decided that I'm going to go on with it—

Mamabearno1—thanks for the review—I'm glad you like it—here ya go—

BlackRoseOnFire—told you that I was putting some crazy twists in the story—I love being able to surprise everyone like that—

SweePrincess4eva—haha—it used to be used as an insult—but I turned it into a term of endearment from him—I love them together too—

Malfoy90—haha—you're welcome—I figured that if I had really made her jump that everyone would be so mad at me—I'm not even close to being done with this one yet—

Barelyalive—thank you! Hope you like what's coming up—

JIZZICA—haha—I've been super busy with work and school and it being my senior year and all—but don't worry—I'M BACK! Enjoy love—

Funnechick—yea—If I'd have made that jump scene for real I think I would be toast right now—anyway—yes, you were right but what can I say? It just came to me—apparently my muses are smiling on me again because I've got another story in my mind called "Your Eyes" and (even though it's a one shot) hopefully everyone will like it—I'll post it when it's finished—enjoy—

WishinWell43—here you go, I know I'm late updating—but—well—school is evil—enjoy—

Greenpeace—here you go darlin—enjoy—

* * *

When Emma woke up again, Jay was gone. Confused, she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Jay?" she called out.

Then she heard noises from upstairs. She got out of bed and wandered up into the living room where she found Jay sitting on the couch playing with Jack. She smiled and stood in the doorway, watching Jay tease her brother. When Jack saw her over Jay's shoulder, he smiled, clapped and started to babble. This caused Jay to look over his shoulder. He saw Emma standing in the doorway watching him and smiled.

"Hey."

"Hi," Emma replied as she walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch next to Jay.

When Emma sat down Jack immediately crawled over Jay's lap so he could put his head in Emma's lap and take a nap lying on the both of them. Unconsciously, Emma stroked her brother's head and rubbed his back, making him fall asleep faster. When Jay looked down and saw that Jack was sleeping soundly, he carefully picked the little boy up and laid him down in his playpen. Emma watched Jay with Jack, he was so different. It was like he was a different person. Emma smiled as she watched Jay gently stroke his hand over Jack's head. Then Jay stood and walked back over to the couch. Sitting down next to Emma, he put an arm over her shoulders and looked at her.

"What're you smiling about?"

"You. You're so good with Jack."

"Yea, well. Don't spread it around okay Blondie? I got a rep to protect."

Emma laughed, "Jay, when you started dating me, your rep was shot to hell."

Stunned, it took Jay a minute to respond. Then he grinned.

"I dunno Em, I'm thinkin' that made my rep shine."

Emma laughed harder at that, and Jay was happy to see her smiling and laughing again. His grin turned wicked as he grabbed her sides and began tickling her mercilessly.

"JAY!" shrieked, "Stop it! You're gonna wake up Jack!"

Immediately, Jay stopped tickling Emma. Jack was cute and all, but he wanted some time alone with Jack's older sister. Emma sat up and fixed her tank top.

"Thank you."

"Yea, well. Jack's cute and all, but I'd rather he slept for a while and give us some time alone."

A whimper from the playpen had both Emma and Jay looking over in that direction, only to see Jack standing up and wiping at his eyes as tears fell down his chubby cheeks. Immediately, Emma stood and went to her brother, picking him up.

"What's the matter Jack?" She asked soothingly.

"Mama," Jack whimpered and clung to Emma.

Stunned, Emma looked up at Jay, who was staring back at the two.

"She's not here right now Jack. But she'll be back soon."

"Mama," he said again as he clutched Emma closer.

"Jay," Emma said quietly, "he thinks I'm mom."

"Well, from what you've been saying, while your dad was sick, you did take care of him all the time."

"Well, yea," Emma started as she rubbed Jack's back, "But I'm not his mom."

"Em, I don't know what to tell ya."

Emma sighed and started walking Jack around the room, rubbing his back as she went. Jay just sat on the couch, watching her. After fifteen minutes, Jack fell back asleep. Jay caught Emma's attention and let her know. Instead of putting Jack back into the playpen, Emma brought him into his room and laid him in the crib. Jay followed behind her, but stayed at the door while she tucked Jack in and turned on the baby monitor. Emma walked to the door and put her arms around Jay's waist, grateful for his strength and warmth. Jay put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. After a minute, Emma left the embrace of his arms and went into her parents' room. She grabbed the other baby monitor off the bedside table and brought it down to her room. When Jay followed her downstairs, he saw her laying on her bed, her back facing him. Sighing, he walked down the steps, shed his sweatshirt, hat and shoes, then lay down behind her and pulled her close to him.

"Em," he said softly, "Don't worry about it. Jack'll realize that you're not his mom."

"I know. But at the same time, I like the feeling of caring for someone. It helps me."

"Helps you?"

"Yea."

"Okay."

"You understand, don't you?"

Jay thought for a minute, then nodded, "Yea, I feel that way about my little sister."

"You have a little sister?"

"Yea Blondie."

"Oh. Well, I didn't know that. Other than rumors and what you've told me about yourself, I hardly know anything about your family."

"What do you want to know?"

Emma rolled over to face Jay.

"How old is your sister?"

"The youngest one is seven, and the other one is thirteen."

"Is that all your siblings?"

"Yea. Me, Cami and Maggie."

"Cami?"

"Yea, her name is Camille but we call her Cami."

Emma rolled over and snuggled against Jay's chest. She liked this side of him, the one where he didn't hide his softer side. She liked it a lot.

"Hey, where'd my parents go anyway?"

"Check up for Snake."

"Oh. They say how long they'll be gone?"

"Had to go to Quebec, they're staying the night there."

"Oh. Did Mom say anything before they left?"

"She asked me if I would stay with you."

Startled, Emma looked up at Jay.

"She did?"

Jay nodded, looking down at Emma, "Yea. When I asked her why she said that she doesn't want to leave you alone just yet."

"Oh," Emma said looking down again, "I guess she's still scared I'm gonna do something. Especially after what happened today."

Jay kissed Emma's forehead, "Yea, probably. I'm just surprised that Snake didn't immediately object."

Emma laughed and looked up at Jay again, eyes sparkling.

"He trusts you Jay. He has since you pulled me off the roof."

Jay only nodded, looking into Emma's sparkling eyes. Emma's smile softened as she looked at Jay. He had been so good for her. Even after everything they'd been through together. A thought popped into Emma's head and her soft smile turned into a wicked grin.

"Uh, Em, why do I not like the smile on your face?" Jay asked.

"I dunno. Why?" Emma replied, still grinning.

Emma looked down and rubbed her face into Jay's chest, still smiling. Jay's arms wrapped tighter around Emma and held her close. Suddenly, he felt Emma's fingers digging into his sides, tickling him. Jay squirmed and moved his hands to her sides to retaliate. Emma began laughing and her hands slowed until she stopped all together and was trying to stop Jay's assault on her sides. Jay rolled her underneath him and kept tickling her, smiling as she laughed and tried to fight him off. Emma opened her eyes and Jay's hands stilled. When Emma caught her breath, she looked up into Jay's eyes, and he watched as her eyes darkened with desire. In a flash, Jay swooped down and captured her lips with his. Emma moaned and Jay took the opportunity to sweep his tongue over hers and pillage her mouth. After kissing her thoroughly, Jay moved down to her neck to suck and kiss at her pulse point. Emma moaned again, her hands clutching at Jay's back. Her hands moved down to his sides and underneath his shirt, pulling it up so she could take it off. Jay stopped his assault on her neck to help her pull his shirt off. When it was off, he threw it aside and began his attack on her neck again. Emma's hands roamed over Jay's now bare back, trying to go think through the feelings he was creating inside her. After a moment, she realized she didn't want to think, she just wanted to feel.

"Jay," she moaned.

Jay moved back up to her lips to capture them in a bruising kiss. His hands went to her sides, underneath her shirt, feeling the soft skin that was there. Emma gasped at the feel of Jay's hands on her bare skin, and a tingling sensation started where his hands began and followed as he moved his hands over her torso. She felt his hands lift her shirt and she arched her back to help him. Her shirt came off quickly and Jay blazed a trail of kisses from her neck down over her breasts and down her stomach. Emma closed her eyes as Jay kissed her, she couldn't figure out what all these feelings inside her were, she didn't know if she wanted to. Her eyes opened again when she couldn't feel Jay's lips on her. She looked up and into Jay's eyes. There she saw love, desire and concern.

"What is it?" she asked, her arms wrapped loosely around his neck, hands playing with his hair.

"Are you sure about this Em?" he asked.

Emma smiled and pulled Jay's head down to kiss him softly. She could feel his weight on top of her and she felt comfortable. The heat that radiated from him made her feel warm and loved. She knew then, that she was in love with him and that she wanted this. She wanted this more than anything.

"I have never been more sure of anything," she said looking him square in the eye.

The concern left Jay's eyes, and now she only saw love and desire. He leaned down and kissed her softly, then slowly moved around her face, kissing her eyes, her cheeks and her nose before returning to her lips. This kiss felt different to both of them, but neither could put a name to it. Jay's lips left hers and returned to her neck. Emma closed her eyes at the sensation. She knew she would have a hickey, or probably a few, but she didn't care. All she cared about at the moment was the feeling of Jay's weight on top of her. Her body arched underneath his and he groaned at the contact.

"Jay, please," Emma nearly whimpered.

Jay moved back up to kiss her lips and wrap his arms around her back. Emma's hands sought to find purchase, clutching at Jay's back as all these feelings washed over her. Suddenly, they heard Jack's voice over the monitor and both froze.

"Emmy! I up!" they heard him say.

Emma groaned and her hands slid from Jay's back. Jay started to laugh as he rolled off to Emma's side. She smiled, and began to giggle herself. Sitting up, Emma got off her bed and picked up Jay's sweatshirt off the floor. Putting it on, she looked over at Jay, who was still laying on her bed, looking at her. She smiled and stuck her tongue out at him. Grinning, Jay moved to get up. Emma squeaked and ran up the stairs, Jay close behind her. Slowing to a walk, Emma popped her head into Jack's room, only to see him playing with one of the stuffed animals in his crib. He looked up and saw her standing in the doorway.

Jack smiled, "Emmy!" he said happily.

"Hey Jack-Jack. You ready for dinner?" she asked, walking into the room.

Jack nodded and held his arms out to her. Emma picked up her little brother and set him on her hip. She walked out into the living room, but didn't see Jay. She walked into the kitchen, and found Jay.

"Jay!" Jack shouted happily.

"What's up Jack-man?" Jay said, moving to take Jack from Emma.

"Hungwwy." Jack said, clutching at Jay's shirt.

Emma smiled, "Jack-jack," Jack turned to look at his sister, "You want pasta?"

Jack grinned and clapped his hands together.

"S'getti!" he yelled happily.

Emma laughed at her little brother. She looked at Jay, eyes shining. Jay winked and went to put Jack down, but he clung on like a burr.

"No," he said stubbornly, hanging onto Jay.

"Jack, bud, I gotta put you down so I can help your sister."

"No," Jack said again.

Jay rolled his eyes and looked at Emma, who moved to take Jack from him. He shook his head and walked from the kitchen. He walked into the living room with Jack and sat down on the couch.

"Jack-man, are you tryin' to get me in trouble?" Jay asked quietly.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head solemnly.

"Then you gotta let me help your sister get dinner ready okay?"

Jack nodded, "Otay."

Jay set Jack on the couch and turned on the TV to a cartoon he knew Jack liked. Jack smiled at Jay and snuggled back into the couch cushions.

"Tank you," he said.

Jay smiled at Jack and ruffled his hair as he walked back into the kitchen. Emma was standing at the counter, back to him, cutting up vegetables. Jay grinned and slid his arms around Emma's waist. Emma jumped slightly and gasped, dropping the knife and barely missing her hand.

"Jay!" she hissed angrily.

She spun around and before she could say anything, Jay swooped down and captured her lips with his. Emma's slight anger quickly melted away as she wrapped her arms around Jay's shoulders.

"Mmmm." She moaned as Jay's hands moved from her waist around her back.

Jay pulled back and rested his forehead against Emma's, breathing hard.

"Jay, we can't," Emma panted, "Jack's right in the other room."

"I know," Jay replied, "That, was for earlier."

Emma smiled, "Oh yea? Then what's for later?"


	11. Dinner and a Movie

Hawthorn heights—welcome aboard! Hope you enjoy the next chapter…

Emmajayforever06—aww, that is the best thing I've heard about this story…thank you so much…

Tammywammy—well, sometime's he's her hero, sometime's he's just Jay…but we love him no matter…

SupernatuarlGurl—thanks babe, I had to throw some original Jay in there or else it wouldn't be as realistic…

Sariebearie—thanks…I'm going to add as much as I can when the muses like me…and today it seems like they love me…yay

Sarah Jean—I'm sorry you weren't feeling well when you first read my story, I hope you like it and stay with us for the duration…

Ifonlyuknew—thanks…hope you like the rest of it

Funnechick—heehee, everyone is loving how sweet Jay is with Jack…hope you like the next chapter and stay with the story hun!

MaryAuksi—Thanks so much for your review! Enjoy the next chapter…

SparkleSpaz6986—haha, here's your update! Hope you like it…

xSlutxCorex—thank you thank you thank you! Haha, enjoy the next part!

BlackRoseOnFire—I can't TELL you how good it is to hear from you darling!!! Yay! Thanks for not giving up on me! Loves

SammiJ—thanks hun! Hope you enjoy the next chapter as much as you enjoyed the last!

Abbyroxs100—I'm sorry I haven't updated—the Degrassi muses have been very angry with me…not only them, but all my muses…(sigh) hopefully that's over with now…enjoy hun

Volleygal905—thanks! Yes there is going to be more of this story, there has to be, I'm not going to leave it like that! And making Emma and Jay a couple on the show would rock my socks off! Haha, enjoy!

XoPri24—well, here's the more you asked for hun! Enjoy…

* * *

Jay gaped at Emma, who laughed and turned back to the vegetables she was cutting. It took Jay about twenty seconds to get his head back together, and when he did, he grinned wickedly at Emma's back. Stepping into her personal space, his grin grew when Emma stopped cutting and froze. Jay slipped his hands under the sweatshirt and rested his hands low on Emma's hips, letting his fingers splay out to feel her soft bare skin. Jay stepped still closer so that the front of his body and the back of Emma's were aligned. Feeling his body against hers, Emma relaxed and sank back against her boyfriend. Jay leaned his head down and placed a gentle kiss against Emma's pulse point, causing her to moan softly.

"Jay," she said quietly, "Jack's right in the other room and I need to get dinner ready."

"Relax Emma," Jay laughed against her neck, "you asked a question, I'm just answering it."

Emma let go of the knife and rolled her head back onto Jay's shoulder.

"Thank you for being honest with me," she said, kissing his chin.

Jay held her for another minute, then grinned as he let her go.

"Alright woman, fix me my dinner," he said, smacking her ass.

Emma let out a squeak and turned to face Jay, hands on her hips.

"You did _not_ just do that Jayson Hogart," she said indignantly.

Jay just smiled at her. Emma put her hands on his chest and shoved him backwards, smiling slightly, though she tried to stay mad.

"Get out of here. Go keep Jack company," she said.

Jay watched as she turned back and began cutting the vegetables again. Shaking his head, Jay turned and walked into the living room, where Jack was watching cartoons. Hearing someone enter the room, he turned his head.

"Hi Jay!" he said happily.

"What's up Jack-man?" Jay said as he sat on the couch next to Jack.

"Where's Emmy?" Jack asked, looking around.

"Making dinner," Jay replied.

"S'getti?"

"Yea bud."

"Yay!"

Jay smiled at Jack, who grinned right back. They sat together watching Jack's cartoons until Emma called them.

"C'mon Jack-man, time for dinner," Jay said, picking the little boy up.

He walked into the kitchen and found Emma setting the table. He put Jack in his high chair and took the plates from Emma.

"I got it," he said.

Emma smiled and walked over to the stove. She put some spaghetti in Jack's bowl and put a little sauce on top. Emma set the bowl on the counter and got a knife from the utensil drawer. She cut up Jack's spaghetti and set the knife in the sink to wash later. Opening one of the cabinets, Emma grabbed a bowl and set it on the counter next to the pot of spaghetti. She transferred the spaghetti to the bowl, then poured the sauce on top. Taking that bowl in one hand, and Jack's in the other, Emma walked back to the table setting the bowl down before turning to Jack and setting his bowl on the high chair.

"Thank you Emmy," Jack said happily.

Emma smiled at her little brother, "You're welcome Jack," she said, sitting.

The meal was quiet, but comfortable. When they had finished, Jay stood and took Emma's plate and brought it to the sink. Emma smiled as she helped clear the table, then looked over at Jack. She giggled, and tapped Jay on the shoulder before pointing to Jack. The poor kid was falling asleep in his spaghetti.

"I'll take care of the dishes, you take care of your brother," Jay said quietly.

Emma smiled at him and leaned up to kiss his cheek, "Thanks," she said.

Jay said nothing, just watched as she walked over, picked up Jack and somehow managed not to get herself dirty as she walked from the kitchen. Shaking his head, Jay started taking care of the dishes.


	12. River Lullabye

BlackRoseOnFire—I know the chapter was short, sorry, I just wanted to update it while I had the time…here's another chapter, hopefully this one is long enough to tide you over until I can write the next chapter…

Funnechick—here ya go, sorry it's been so long since the last update…

XoPri24—here's your update! Enjoy!

(QAN: Hey guys, so, I realized that I never said where Emma's parents went during chaps 10 and 11…Snake was treating Spike to their first night alone since the shooting, a fancy dinner and a night at an awesome hotel—thus why Emma and Jay are now alone…ps—the song is "River Lullabye" from the Prince of Egypt…enjoy!)

* * *

After finishing the dishes, Jay sat on the couch and waited for Emma to join him. When she finally did, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and Emma snuggled into his warm body. Sighing, she closed her eyes as Jay pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Jack in bed?" Jay asked.

Emma nodded, then smiled as a thought struck her. She looked up at Jay, who had leaned his head back on the couch and shut his eyes. She stood, causing Jay to open his eyes and look at her.

"Where ya goin'?" he asked.

But Emma only grabbed his hand and tugged him off the couch, making him groan.

"I'll meet you downstairs," she said, pushing him towards the basement door.

Jay grabbed her arm in confusion.

"Where you goin'?" he asked.

"I need to get the monitor from my parents' room," Emma said, a slight smile on her face.

Jay let go of her arm and nodded before he turned and walked down into the basement. Emma watched him walk away before turning in the opposite direction and heading towards her parents' room, pausing to check on Jack after she grabbed the baby monitor. Slowly, Emma made her way down into her basement bedroom, putting a small swing in her hips as she came into view. Jay was lying on her bed, leaning back on his elbows, watching her walk into the room. Emma smiled at her boyfriend, laughing in her mind when his eyes started to glaze over. She crawled onto her bed, making her way up Jay's body and stretched over him to place the monitor on her bedside table. Jay groaned when Emma's body brushed against his, making her smile.

Balancing herself on her knees, Emma sat up and smiled down at Jay, resting her hands on his chest. Jay's hands moved to rest on her waist as he laid back, Emma's pillows under his head. Emma tilted her head to the side, watching Jay watch her. She moved off to Jay's side and lay down next to him, her head resting on his chest.

"I can't believe I'm this tired," she muttered into his chest.

Jay wrapped his arms around Emma tighter and sighed into her hair.

"Your brother is a little demon," he mumbled.

Emma laughed and lifted her head to look up at Jay. Seeing the smirk on his face, one thought popped into Emma's head. Leaning up, she kissed Jay soundly, smiling against his lips when he pushed her so she was on her back and he was leaning over her. Breaking the kiss, Jay's lips moved down to her neck, reveling in the little sounds Emma made because of his touch. His hands edged under her top to feel the silky skin he knew was there and Emma gasped at the tiny pinpricks of electricity that shot up her spine at his touch.

"Jay," she moaned when his teeth scraped over her sensitized collarbone.

Without warning, Emma rolled over so she was kneeling on top of Jay, her back arching at the intimate contact of their hips. A wicked grin crossed Emma's lips as she took Jay's hands in her own and leaned over him, holding his hands down on the bed. Jay smirked and raised an eyebrow in question. A wicked grin from Emma made him want to groan. She leaned down so her mouth was next to his left ear.

"I've got a bet for you Jayson," she whispered seductively.

"What's that?" he asked, trying to move his hands.

"I bet, that you can't keep your hands to yourself, no matter what I do," Emma replied, licking the outer shell of his ear.

Jay closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep from moaning, both from her words and from her actions.

"What do I get, if I win?" he asked a bit breathlessly.

"Well," Emma said, biting his earlobe, "How about…whatever you want?" she finished.

Jay's eyes snapped open and he waited until Emma looked him in the eyes.

"Whatever I want?" he asked.

Emma bit her lip and nodded.

"Can I still kiss you?" he asked.

Emma nodded again.

"Good," Jay muttered, lifting his head and kissing her soundly.

Emma returned the kiss enthusiastically. When they broke apart, both were panting hard and Emma had to rest her forehead against Jay's.

"What do I get if you lose?" Emma asked after a minute.

"Uh…" Jay didn't know what to say.

Frowning slightly, Emma moved to get up. Jay thought quickly, what was the one thing Emma would want from him?

"Romance," he said suddenly.

Intrigued, Emma looked back down at Jay.

"Explain," Emma said, leaning down and kissing Jay's neck.

Jay gulped, when Emma had her lips on him, he could never think straight; but the last thing he wanted was for her to stop what she was doing to him.

"A real date," he said, moaning slightly, "Somewhere nice."

"Mmhmm," Emma moaned, moving to the other side of his neck.

Jay moaned when Emma nipped at his pulse point, who knew she could act like this? Who knew he would LOVE it?!

"Anywhere you want to go, but I draw the line at going to a play," Jay muttered.

Emma giggled against Jay's neck before pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I would never make you go to a play," she said, kissing him lightly.

"This whole romance thing is only gonna happen _if_ I lose," Jay smirked.

"You mean _when_ you lose," Emma replied.

Jay stretched lazily under Emma's body, watching her with laughing eyes. Emma leaned down and kissed Jay hotly, pouring all her passion, love, and pent up feelings into the kiss. Jay moaned and lifted his head slightly, kissing Emma back. Emma pulled back and watched Jay's reaction as her hands ran down his arms and over his chest. When she reached the hem of his wifebeater, she inched her hands underneath to feel his skin.

"Sit up," she demanded in a whisper.

Jay did as she asked, lifting his arms over his head as she pulled his shirt off. He leaned back on his hands as Emma's hands and eyes wandered over his now bare torso. His body was amazing, she thought; he looked skinny, but his chiseled chest and abs made her want to drool. Emma leaned forward and kissed Jay roughly before shoving him on his back. She leaned down, her hands wandering over his body with the lightest of touches, and her lips following. She blazed a trail from Jay's neck to his abs, smirking when he moaned. She nipped at his skin lightly before running her tongue under the top of his jeans.

"Em," he ground out, hands fisting in her sheets.

Emma looked up at him, an innocent expression on her face.

"What?" she asked him, a hint of smugness creeping into her voice.

"Come up here," he said, looking down at her.

Slowly, Emma made her way back up Jay's body, placing a kiss on his chin before looking into his eyes.

"Yes?" she asked, a small smile gracing her face.

Jay leaned up, trying to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"You said I could still kiss you," he said in a gravely voice, staring into her eyes.

"I did," Emma confirmed, "But I can't think when you kiss me. And if I can't think, I can't win the bet," she pouted.

Jay will never understand how that face will always get him, but it does, and he groans. He lifts his arms from the bed and wraps them around her lithe frame. Rolling them over, Jay kisses her soundly and slips his hands under her top.

"You win," he says as his fingers roam over her heated skin.

Emma gasps, loving the tiny shocks that she knew came from Jay. Running her hands over his back, she closed her eyes when his lips touched her neck.

"Mm, Jay," she moaned, hands clutching at his back.

"Emmy?" they both heard a tearful voice say.

Jay stilled, then groaned as he rolled off to Emma's side. Emma sat up and, to Jay's shock, pulled off her top, revealing her dark blue lacy bra. Jay watched as she leaned over the bed and picked up his wifebeater from the floor and slipped it over her head, her bra clearly showing through the thin, white fabric.

"Emmy?" they heard again.

"I'll be right up Jack-Jack," Emma said soothingly, pressing a button on the monitor.

She looked back at Jay as she stood and smiled as she walked upstairs to check on her little brother. Jay reclined on Emma's bed, inwardly cursing himself for giving in so easily. But this was EMMA; he was surprised he was able to go even five _seconds_ without touching her.

"Hey Jack-Jack," he heard her say over the monitor, "What's wrong sweetie?"

Jay smiled and listened to Emma and Jack.

"I had a bad dream," Jack said, his voice muffled against what Jay assumed was Emma's shoulder.

Upstairs, Emma paced Jack's room, rubbing his back and completely forgetting about the baby monitor by Jack's crib.

"Emmy? You sing?" Jack asked tiredly.

"Which song Jack?" Emma asked, sitting in the rocking chair.

Downstairs, Jay looked shocked, he didn't know Emma sang. But then, this was her little brother; so maybe she made an exception for him. Jay listened quietly; he wanted to hear Emma sing.

"The river song," he heard Jack say.

"Okay Jack-Jack. But you have to close your eyes and try to sleep okay?" Emma replied.

"Okay Emmy."

Emma took a deep breath and began singing softly as she rocked back and forth. It was loud enough to travel through the baby monitor so Jay could hear, but Emma didn't realize that.

"_Hush now, my baby. Be still love, don't cry._

_Sleep like you're rocked by the stream._

_Sleep and remember, my lullaby._

_And I'll be with you when you dream._

_Drift on a river; that flows through my arms._

_Drift as I'm singing to you._

_I see you smiling, so peaceful and calm._

_And holding you, I'm smiling, too._

_Here in my arms, safe from all harm._

_Holding you, I'm smiling, too."_

She finished the song and realized that Jack was asleep on her shoulder. Carefully, she got up, walked over to his crib, and laid Jack down. Bending over, she kissed his forehead.

"Night Jack-Jack, sleep tight," she whispered.

Jack's response was to roll over and start sucking his thumb. Emma smiled and gently pulled Jack's thumb from his mouth before turning and walking out of the room. Emma made her way back downstairs to Jay and smiled at him.

"I didn't know you sing," he said, still surprised.

"How did you—?" Emma trailed off as her eyes drifted over to the monitor, "Oh."

Jay got up off her bed and wrapped his arms around her, dropping a sweet kiss on her lips.

"Don't be embarrassed Blondie, you're good," he said.

"Really?" Emma asked, looking up at him.

Jay walked backwards to Emma's bed, still holding her to him, and sat when the back of his legs hit the bed, pulling Emma onto his lap.

"You know I don't say things I don't mean," he said quietly.

Emma nodded, her fingertips trailing over his collarbone and shoulders. Jay watched her for a minute, then pulled her with him as he lay down on her bed. Emma's back was pressed tightly against his chest and one of his arms was around her waist so his hand rested against her abdomen. Emma lay there for a minute, then rolled over to face Jay. Her eyes searched his before she smiled softly up at him.

"I love you," she whispered.

Jay's arms tightened around her as he looked into her eyes. He bent his head and kissed her deeply, wanting her to feel everything that he was feeling. Pulling away, he looked into her eyes again.

"I love you too Emma," he returned.

Emma smiled and buried her head in Jay's chest, listening to his heartbeat. The steady rhythm of his heart had her closing her eyes and falling asleep.


	13. Not So Innocent Anymore

BlackRoseOnFire—I know, I know, another long time between updates…but I'm trying! I really am…and my sequel for another story has me by the throat…anyway, enjoy!

Sharada614—thanks, I hope you like the rest of it too…

Ellie CameronDB—thanks! Here's an update for you to sink your teeth into!

Allie—thanks for the review

XoPri24—ok, so it's not asap but at least its here!!

(A/N: WARNING: Smut ahead! Read at your own risk!)

Cheers!

Emma woke up to Jack crying over the monitor, a glance at her alarm clock told her it was around two in the morning. Trying not to wake Jay, Emma moved his arm from her waist and quietly slid from her bed and warm boyfriend. She made her way upstairs to Jack's room and peeked in his crib. It looked like he was just having a nightmare so Emma gently rubbed his back and made soothing noises. After a bit, Jack calmed down, stuck his thumb in his mouth and smiled.

Emma smiled and pulled Jack's thumb out of his mouth before turning and leaving the room. She walked back downstairs and climbed into bed with Jay. His arm came back across her stomach and pulled her to him.

"Where'd you go?" he asked tiredly.

"Check on Jack, go back to sleep," Emma said, snuggling back into his warm body.

"Long as you stop moving like that, I'll be able to," Jay grumbled.

Emma stifled a giggle, "You mean like this?" she asked, grinding her hips into him.

Almost fully awake now, Jay groaned.

"Yea," he said, the sound vibrating though his chest.

Emma rolled over and looked into her boyfriend's sleepy, yet aroused, eyes.

"What if I don't wanna stop?" she asked him, smirking.

Jay groaned again and rolled Emma underneath him, kissing her soundly. Emma moaned and wrapped her arms around Jay, nails digging into his back. His hands slipped under the wifebeater she still wore and pulled it up, exposing her smooth, tanned skin to his eyes. His lips moved from hers to kiss down her neck, pausing to suck on her collarbone and leave a hickey. He found that one spot that always drove Emma crazy, right where her neck and collarbone met and nipped at her skin lightly.

"Mmm, Jay," Emma moaned, back arching.

She sat up slightly and Jay pulled the wifebeater off her. They lay back down together, hands roaming over slick skin. The air around them was filled with electricity as their tongues dueled for dominance. Jay pulled his mouth from Emma's and rested his head on her shoulder, breathing heavily. Emma wrapped one leg around Jay's and pulled him to her.

"Jay, please," she whimpered.

Jay brought his head up and looked her in the eyes.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

Looking into his eyes, Emma saw his love for her, and his confliction. Leaning up, she kissed him sweetly.

"I love you," she whispered when she pulled away.

Jay's eyes roamed her face and he leaned down to kiss her. But what started as a sweet and gentle kiss to sooth her fears soon turned into a heated meeting of lips, passions crashing together in a dance as old as time itself.

Jay's arms wrapped around Emma's back and pulled her on top of him. She pushed herself up, hands on Jay's chest and looked down at him as her hair swung in her face. She held herself up, rocking slightly where she sat on Jay's hips, brushing against the erection she felt through his jeans. Emma bent her head forward and she lifted her hands behind her back to unclasp her bra. She moved to take it off when Jay sat up and wrapped his arms around her back, catching her hands in his. Emma looked at him, confusion coloring her features. Jay smirked and kissed her. Emma closed her eyes, sinking into the kiss. Jay's lips left hers to trail down her neck and Emma, feeling extremely relaxed, let her head loll backwards, just concentrating of the feel of Jay's lips on her.

Slowly, Jay released Emma's hands and moved his up her back as his lips brushed down her neck. He kissed his way over her collarbone, pulling her bra strap down as he kissed her shoulder. He did the same to her other shoulder and threw her bra on the floor. He pulled back to look at her, and though Emma thought she would feel embarrassed, she only felt her arousal grow when she saw the hungry look in Jay's eyes. She brought one hand to his chin and made him look up at her. As soon as they caught each others eyes, Jay leaned up and caught her lips in a hungry kiss. Rolling Emma beneath him, Jay shifted his weight so he wouldn't crush her and rested his hands at her waist as their kiss grew more passionate.

Emma realized that, even though she'd told Jay she was ready, she would most likely have to make the next move. So she moved her hands down to the waist of his jeans and waited until he was looking in her eyes before she unbuttoned his jeans and lowered the zipper, slipping her hand inside his jeans and grasping his erection.

Jay groaned when he felt Emma's hand slip inside his jeans. He pulled Emma's hands away and held them in his own above her head.

"Baby, you keep that up and it's gonna end too soon," he said, kissing her softly.

Emma melted into his kiss, body relaxing. She felt his hands move down her arms, but didn't move her hands from above her head. She closed her eyes as she felt Jay move down her body, placing lingering kisses along the way. His hands curled into the waistband of her sleep pants and he slowly pulled them down her legs, placing kisses on her inner thighs, knees and ankles as he went. Jay tossed her sleep pants off to the side and moved back up her body, hands skimming her heated flesh as he went.

"Jay," she whimpered, feeling his hands teasing the skin of her hips and thighs.

He chuckled and kissed her throat, hands resting on the edge of her panties.

"Something wrong Blondie?" he growled in her ear.

Emma grabbed his head and pulled him into a heated kiss. Still kissing her, Jay slipped one hand inside her panties and felt how wet she was. Emma moaned as one long finger slipped inside her core. Her hips arched up and she had to break the kiss to catch her breath.

Jay watched Emma's face as he pleasured her, feeling her inner walls clench around his finger, Jay groaned.

He knew it was going to be her first time, and he didn't want to hurt her. Gently, he slipped a second finger into her and watched as her mouth opened in a silent 'oh'. Emma felt as though her body was on fire, it burned, but didn't hurt her. She whimpered when Jay pulled his fingers out of her and moved away.

"I'm not going anywhere baby," he said quietly.

His hands curled into her underwear and pulled them down her legs. He slowly moved up her body, placing light kisses on her body as he went. Jay stared into Emma's eyes and brushed his nose against hers, settling more of his weight on her while he tried to calm himself. Emma's hands moved to his jeans to push them off his hips. Jay moved away from Emma and stood from the bed, letting his jeans drop to the floor and pushing his boxers off before he moved back to the bed and lay over Emma.

"Emma, you have to be really sure about this," he said softly, one hand resting against her cheek.

Emma shifted her body slightly so she felt him against her and smiled reassuringly up at him.

"I want this. I want it to be you," she said softly.

Jay stared down into his girlfriend's eyes, seeing her honesty and love in them; and maybe, just a little fear?

"You're scared," he said softly, brushing his nose against hers.

Emma bit her lip, "A little bit," she whispered, pulling her gaze away from his.

"Em, baby, look at me," he said softly.

He waited until her eyes met his again and kissed her softly. Emma's eyes fluttered shut and she let herself fall into the kiss. In such a short period of time Jay had become her life, and she, his. Emma lifted her arms to wrap around Jay and hold him to her as their kiss went on. Jay knew he was going to hurt her; there was nothing he could do to prevent that. He pulled away from the kiss to look at his Emma.

"This is going to hurt," he told her softly.

Emma smiled, "I know," she spread her legs a little father apart and lifted her hips to him, "I'll be okay."

Jay wrapped one arm around Emma's back and the other went to play with her hair as he pulled her to kiss him again and quickly entered her waiting body. Emma broke the kiss with a gasp and bit her lip. Jay buried his face in her neck, breathing heavily as he tired to control himself.

"I'm sorry baby," he said gently, not moving his face from her neck, "I'm sorry."

Emma knew that the pain would be brief, she just had to get used to the feeling of him inside her. Emma brought a hand up to his face and tugged gently, making him pull his face from her neck and look down at her. As she looked into his eyes, she felt the pain dissipate and something else take its place.

"Love you," she said softly.

Jay leaned down to kiss her again, "Love you too," he said back.

Emma rolled her hips against his, trying to make that funny feeling go away, and gasped as Jay pulled out of her slowly and pushed back in. The feeling in her began to burn and she realized that it was because of Jay. The feeling of him so deep inside her, touching her the way no other man had; she rolled her hips again, keeping in time with Jay's slow, steady thrusts. The pressure began building in her, gasping as Jay kissed her neck and a tiny shock of electricity flowed through her system.

"Jay," she whimpered.

Her boyfriend stopped kissing her neck and looked into her lust filled eyes.

"I—I—" she didn't know what she was going to say, but she looked at Jay and he could tell, just from her eyes.

Jay began moving faster, his eyes not leaving Emma's. Her eyes widened fractionally and she moaned, the fire inside her burning hotter and hotter. Emma's fingernails dug into Jay's back, making him hiss at the mix of pain and pleasure. The little noises Emma was making were driving him to the edge.

"Jay," she gasped out.

"That's it baby," he whispered in her ear, "Cum for me."

Emma's body wrapped tighter around his and he felt her inner walls clenching him as she called out his name while she came. Jay bent his head down to kiss and suck at her pulse point, pumping inside of her a few more times before groaning out her name as his orgasm hit him. In the back of his mind, his subconscious screamed that they hadn't used any protection, but all he could focus on was Emma breathing heavily beneath him. Carefully, Jay pulled out of her and rolled them over so that she was laying half on top of him and he was holding her tightly to his side.


	14. The Letter

Swithily—here's your update hun, I'm glad you've stuck with me. *smile*

WenWen—I don't know yet, I just type what the muses tell me *sticks out tongue*

Spinnerroxz16—glad you like it…

Bridgetrules1—here's your update *smiles*

A/N: Just a quick note guys, I know I'm taking a long time to update some things but my life has been ridiculous the last year. Hopefully, now that my muses are back and loving me again, I'll be able to update more quickly and frequently.

_**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!!

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Emma felt the sun shining on her face and groaned, rolling onto her side and curling up next to Jay. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she smiled, thinking back to last night. Emma tilted her head up to see Jay watching her, and she smiled guiltily and buried her face in his chest, listening to him chuckle.

"Mornin' babe," he rumbled softly.

Emma smiled up at him, "Hey."

"How you feeling?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair.

"Alright," she said quietly, "I really don't want to get up," she said laughing.

"Mmm, then lets just stay in bed all day," Jay said, pulling her as close as she could get.

Emma shook her head, but didn't move, "I need to check on Jack. He hasn't said anything and I can't hear him over the monitor."

Slowly, she moved from her bed and stretched; wincing slightly at the soreness she felt. She dressed in sweatpants and pulled a tank top on before pulling her hair up in a ponytail. Turning back to her bed she saw Jay lying there, hands behind his head and smiled.

"What?" she asked.

Jay shook his head, "Just watchin' you."

Emma laughed and leaned down to kiss him, "Pervert."

Jay let out a shout of laughter and grabbed her, making her shriek as they rolled around her bed laughing.

"Emmy?" they heard over the monitor.

They stopped rolling on her bed and Emma looked at the monitor.

"I better get him up," she said, moving from on top of Jay.

Jay sat up and looked over at Emma, "I'll be up in a few minutes," he said as she grabbed the baby monitor.

Emma nodded and smiled at him, "Alright, I'll probably be in the kitchen."

Jay grinned and got up from Emma's bed as she made her way up the stairs. He grabbed his boxers and jeans from where they'd fallen and pulled them on, looking around for his shirt as he buckled his belt. He found it on her desk, which was a surprise because he didn't remember throwing it that far when he'd pulled it off her. As he grabbed it, some papers fell to the ground and an envelope with his name on it caught his eye. He tided up the papers and looked at the envelope cautiously before flipping it over to see that it wasn't sealed. It had his name on it, so technically he wasn't spying. He pulled out the single sheet of paper and immediately recognized Emma's handwriting.

'_Jay—_

_I'm sorry it came to this. I just can't say good bye to you. I love you soo much, but I still hear the screams at night. Still feel the pain and horror from what Rick did. You're my world Jayson Michael Hogart, and I love you more than anything. But I just can't keep going on living a half life. You've done so much for me; I didn't think it was fair to keep piling all my problems on to you. I'm such a coward, not being able to say good bye to you, but I know that if I look at you, I won't go through with this. And living a half life is just as bad as what I was living before you. Before the roof._

_I still think about that day, and I wonder what would've happened had you not been there to catch me as I fell. Besides me meeting the concrete face first that is. I know, it's a bad joke, but it made you smile just a little bit._

_I mean about what would happen after though. Who would miss me, if anyone? How life would go on after I was gone. And then I would wonder what it would do to Mom, and Snake, and Jack._

_I'm glad you came back into my life Jay, more than you could know. And I'm sorry._

_I love you always,_

_Emma'_

Jay froze and his heart felt like there was a vice around his heart squeezing it until he felt like crying. He noticed a small date on the bottom corner, it had been written the day she'd had to go back into that hallway; she must've written it before he'd come back over that night. He wanted to talk to her about it he thought as he refolded the letter and put it back in the envelope. He placed it back on her desk and pulled his wifebeater over his head, he knew though, that Emma wouldn't want to talk about it. As he walked up the stairs he silently thanked the God he hadn't been sure he still believed in, that she never went through with whatever it was that she planned.


	15. Confusion

Jay walked up the stairs slowly, trying to get his now jumbled thoughts in some kind of order. When he saw Emma with her back to him in the kitchen, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her back tightly against his chest. Sensing something wrong, Emma turned around to look at Jay.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Jay sighed, "I need to talk to you about something, but not right now. Tonight, we'll go out."

"What about Jack?" Emma asked, now slightly worried about what Jay wanted to discuss with her.

"Manny'll watch him for us."

Emma nodded; a small smile on her face, "Alright. I'll call her and ask."

Jay leaned forward and kissed her sweetly, "I love you," he said when he pulled away.

Emma's smile grew, "I love you too," she replied.

Jay kissed her forehead and looked down at her, "Listen, I gotta run by the garage for a little bit; talk to my uncle about taking time off, are you okay by yourself for a bit?"

Emma's smile faded slightly, she hadn't really been left alone since her relapse. Seeing her reaction Jay quickly cupped her face in his hands, looking into her scared gaze.

"Hey, hey," he said, "It's just for a little bit. And Jack'll be here with you. Or if you want, call Manny and ask her to keep you company. I won't leave until she gets here, okay?"

Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the spicy scent that was uniquely Jay. When she looked up into his eyes again, she felt steadier and her smile came back.

"No, I'll be okay. Go do what you need to do. I need to learn to be alone once in a while. I'll be fine."

Jay was worried as he watched Emma carefully.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Her smile softening, Emma leaned up and gave him a kiss, "I'm sure."

Jay leaned down and kissed her again. Emma's eyes were bright when he pulled away.

"Okay," he said, "I'll be back in a little bit, an hour at most okay?"

Emma nodded and jokingly pushed him towards the door, "I'll be fine Jay. I promise."

"Okay, okay, I'm going," he said as they got to the door.

He opened the door and paused, turning to pull Emma to him and kiss her again. Emma laughed as they pulled away from each other and stood with one hand on the door as Jay walked through and stood on the stoop.

"See you in a little while," he called as he walked to his car.

"Love you!" Emma called out from the doorway.

Jay looked back at her after opening his door and grinned.

"Love you too Blondie!" he called back.


	16. Mike's Garage

"Mike?" Jay called out as he entered the garage.

"In the back bay kid!" his uncle called out.

Jay quickly walked to the back of the garage and saw his uncle leaning over someone's Toyota.

"Damn people, don't know how to take care of a good car so it stays running for a long while," he muttered.

Jay waited for his uncle to finish what he was doing and turn to face him.

"What's going on Jayson?" Mike asked, wiping his greasy hands on a rag.

"This summer, I need to take some time off. I want to take Emma away from here for a little bit."

Mike nodded, "How's she doing?"

Jay shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Some days she's good, some days, not so much. She's actually by herself right now; we're taking it a little at a time."

"That's good, that's good. So this is the first time she's been alone since what happened huh?"

Jay nodded his head, "Yea, she said she would be fine, but she knows I'm only a phone call away if she needs me."

"You're a good kid Jay. I don't know why you insist on trying to be such a badass."

Jay grinned and shrugged again, "Cause I'm so good at being bad Uncle Mike," he said.

Chuckling, Mike shook his head before watching Jay carefully.

"How much time do you want off?" he asked.

"A month?"

"Any idea where you want to take her?"

"I was thinking we'd just travel for a little bit. I mean, Mom's got family in Washington, and Emma's stepdad has family in Nevada; maybe we'll head down that way."

Mike nodded his head, "Her parent's gonna go for it?"

"I hope so," Jay said sincerely, "I think it'll be good for her, to get away from everything for a while. I mean, she's been doing so much better, but she still needs to get away now and again."

"Right, right. Well, I can give it to you; say, last two weeks of June and first two of July? That'll give you enough time to save a little more and still have time to come back fulltime before you head off to University," Mike said this last part with a significant look at Jay.

Jay grimaced, "I'm gonna put off University until January Mike, so I can save up a little more and stay close to home."

"At least you're going kid, time was; your parents didn't think you'd be able to go what with the grades you were getting."

Jay didn't answer, instead choosing to avoid that argument.

"School's out May 28th, I can full time starting the weekend after that. Is that okay?"

Mike nodded his head again, "If it's as busy as last summer, with all the tourists, don't be surprised if you're workin' overtime most days. And before you say you can't, Emma's welcome in the shop anytime. In fact, if she's looking for some work, I need a new body in the office; Sam's leaving to move to the States. Startin' in a week or two. You ask her and get back to me."

Jay grinned and nodded his head, "That would be good. But she's got to watch her brother most days."

Mike shrugged, "Sam's usually got his kid in the office anyway, fixed up the back with a playpen type thing. Long as the kid don't ruin nothing, I don't care."

"Thanks Mike," Jay said smiling, "I'll tell her to give you a call," he glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that more than an hour had passed; his smile faded slightly, "I gotta get back."

"No problem kid, I'll see you for work tomorrow."

With a wave of his hand, Jay left the shop and hopped back into his car to get back to Emma's.


	17. Freaked Out

A/N: I'm bbbaaaaaaccccckkkkkk!! (And I still don't own anything…)

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"Em?" Jay called as he walked into the house.

"Kitchen!" he heard her call back.

It still felt kinda weird to him to be able to just walk into her house anytime he wanted. Weirder still that her parents didn't care if he spent the night there. Although it had been real awkward when Mr. S had walked down to Emma's room and found them in her bed together; passed out under her blankets.

"Hey Blondie," he said, entering the kitchen.

Emma looked over her shoulder from the sink and smiled at him, "Hi. You weren't gone long."

Jay shrugged, walking over and pressing a kiss to her temple, "Just had to ask Mike a few questions."

"Everything okay?" Emma asked as she rinsed off a dish.

"Fine. Just had to ask for some vacation time."

Emma stopped doing the dishes and looked over at Jay.

"You never take vacation time," she said eyeing him carefully.

"Summer plans," he said, not looking at her.

Emma watched him for another minute then shrugged as if it didn't matter to her. She went back to finishing the dishes without saying anything and Jay glanced at her.

"Where's Jack?" he asked finally, realizing that he hadn't heard the little boy since he walked in the house.

"Manny's. She offered to take him for the rest of the day and told me I could pick him up whenever. I took her up on the offer. She picked Jack up about five minutes ago."

Jay nodded, "Em—"

"So I was thinking about what happened at school the other day and I think that if I just face it, I'll be okay."

"Em—"

"I mean, I know I wasn't the only person affected by what happened, look at Jimmy; he might spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, but he can still go to school without suffering panic attacks."

"Emma—"

"And J.T. and Toby? They were friends with Rick, before he turned out to be crazy and—"

"Emma!" Jay exclaimed finally, turning her around the face him.

Emma stopped talking and stared up at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked; eyes searching her face.

"Nothing," Emma said.

Jay just looked at her until she finally broke down.

"I freaked out okay?! I couldn't even go five minutes on my own without freaking out!" she cried, falling against him as sobs began to escape her.

Jay wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him.

"It's okay. You don't have to do it yet. You don't have to pretend you're ready for that."

"But I should be!" she cried out, her palms hitting his chest, "It's not fair!"


End file.
